While we were on our 10th snow day this year, I felt like I was losing it. I was begging for a minute of sanity and I couldn’t find one anywhere. I knew we were embarking on 5 day weekend (which turned into a 6 day weekend, by the way) and I was feeling claustrophobic. I wanted some quiet and wanted to do something for myself. I’m not normally good at self care but I’ve really been working on it.
I had told the girls that we would go to the bookstore and read books, play with the train table, and the Lego table as soon as I finished working out. As I started my T25 dvd, child after child after child came to interrupt me. They asked me simple questions like, “Where is my jacket?” “Have you seen the hairbrush?” and “Where’s my sister?”
Honestly? I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I could feel my blood pressure rising every time I had to pause the dvd and the steam in my head was about to explode.
Just then, Rebecca (3) came down the stairs crying. She was upset that her sisters wouldn’t let her play with them. I was 4 minutes into my 25 minute workout and had paused the tv no less than 5 times. I was frustrated. She was crying. I picked her up and put her in my lap and gave her some hugs. I asked her what she needed from me and she said she just wanted to go to the bookstore with me.
I really wanted to finish my workout but I knew it was time for me to walk away. I knew it would be best if we re-set ourselves and did it somewhere out of the house. I walked upstairs, changed my clothes, and we left. I swear the minute we walked out of the house everyone’s steps got lighter.
It was a good compromise. I knew they needed my attention. I knew I wouldn’t get the workout I needed if I didn’t postpone it. It was hard for me to walk away. It was hard for me to not yell back, “LET ME WORK OUT!” which I have done before, I not-so-proudly admit.
At the bookstore we had fun. We read stories and built creations out of Duplo Legos. We laughed. We ate ice cream. There was no fighting or acting out because the girls did have my attention.
The older they get the less they need me. There are days where I hardly see them at all and then there are days that they are hanging on my shirt sleeves. The fact that they don’t always need me is bittersweet in a way. Some days I beg for quiet and space but then once I get it, I miss the noise and snuggling.
You better believe I will be there when they need me. These little people are growing fast.
Are you able to walk away from what YOU want to do when your kids are needing your attention? In what instance do you NOT walk away?
xoxo
–k
