I’m a big believer that every
parent needs a mentor. Not your mother
or grandmother – those are a given – but another parent who helps ground and
guide you.
parent needs a mentor. Not your mother
or grandmother – those are a given – but another parent who helps ground and
guide you.
I am lucky enough to have had
3 so far. They have made such a positive
impact on the parent I am today.
3 so far. They have made such a positive
impact on the parent I am today.
When Rebecca was born I felt like
a pro. But when Kate, our first, was
born? I was CLUELESS.
a pro. But when Kate, our first, was
born? I was CLUELESS.
I thought I knew what I was
doing. Being the oldest in a family
meant I had been around a bunch of baby cousins and I had been a constant
babysitter. However, neither of those is
the same as having someone put a tiny baby in your arms and knowing that it’s
yours to grow.
doing. Being the oldest in a family
meant I had been around a bunch of baby cousins and I had been a constant
babysitter. However, neither of those is
the same as having someone put a tiny baby in your arms and knowing that it’s
yours to grow.
To say I had trouble
navigating motherhood would be an understatement. It started with a birth that lasted 36 hours
and resulted in a c-section. It
continued with a baby who was gassy, had reflux, and didn’t want to nurse. I wanted a do-over.
navigating motherhood would be an understatement. It started with a birth that lasted 36 hours
and resulted in a c-section. It
continued with a baby who was gassy, had reflux, and didn’t want to nurse. I wanted a do-over.
Thankfully, I didn’t need
one. My friend Melissa stepped in. And I still thank God she did.
one. My friend Melissa stepped in. And I still thank God she did.
I worked with Melissa when I
decided to go back to school for teaching.
She shared her classroom with me and taught me all I needed to know
about teaching. She’s an amazing teacher
and anyone would be lucky to trust her with his or her children.
decided to go back to school for teaching.
She shared her classroom with me and taught me all I needed to know
about teaching. She’s an amazing teacher
and anyone would be lucky to trust her with his or her children.
She had her own three
children by the time Kate was born. We
were home from the hospital for about a week when her family came to
visit. Kate wasn’t latching on and I
really needed help.
children by the time Kate was born. We
were home from the hospital for about a week when her family came to
visit. Kate wasn’t latching on and I
really needed help.
Her family of 5 was a breath
of fresh air walking into our home. We
had kind of shut ourselves in and were pretty much stressing out. Kate was jaundiced and not nursing. I was pumping and giving her bottles after
attempting to nurse at every feeding. I
was exhausted. The thought of
entertaining at that point was daunting.
of fresh air walking into our home. We
had kind of shut ourselves in and were pretty much stressing out. Kate was jaundiced and not nursing. I was pumping and giving her bottles after
attempting to nurse at every feeding. I
was exhausted. The thought of
entertaining at that point was daunting.
Except for Melissa.
I wanted her there.
I needed her there.
I am forever grateful to her
husband, Stuart, for making himself at home in our kitchen and making everyone
lunch. It still ranks as one of the
greatest things anyone has ever done for us post-baby, and I bet he doesn’t
even remember it.
husband, Stuart, for making himself at home in our kitchen and making everyone
lunch. It still ranks as one of the
greatest things anyone has ever done for us post-baby, and I bet he doesn’t
even remember it.
Melissa helped me to get Kate
to latch that day. It was the beginning
of a great breastfeeding relationship between Kate and me. Melissa also became my go-to person for all
things baby. I called her when the babyblues settled in and then again when they wouldn’t leave. I called her when Kate wouldn’t sleep and when
she cried for 8 hours a day.
to latch that day. It was the beginning
of a great breastfeeding relationship between Kate and me. Melissa also became my go-to person for all
things baby. I called her when the babyblues settled in and then again when they wouldn’t leave. I called her when Kate wouldn’t sleep and when
she cried for 8 hours a day.
Over the years, I’ve gained
other mommy mentors. Beth, the lactation
consultant at a local hospital, became my go-to for all things nursing and
baby. She has two boys. I met her for the first time when I went to a
breastfeeding support group. I attended
every Monday even when I no longer needed her help because I loved her and her
company.
other mommy mentors. Beth, the lactation
consultant at a local hospital, became my go-to for all things nursing and
baby. She has two boys. I met her for the first time when I went to a
breastfeeding support group. I attended
every Monday even when I no longer needed her help because I loved her and her
company.
Beth’s the one who made me
realize that I didn’t need to get the baby on my schedule. I could work on the baby’s schedule and be so
much happier. She made me realize I
needed to hug my babies and love on them more.
I am so thankful for that. Those
baby years went quickly and I feel as though I got as much as I could have out
of them because of Beth. I don’t miss
them because I utilized them.
realize that I didn’t need to get the baby on my schedule. I could work on the baby’s schedule and be so
much happier. She made me realize I
needed to hug my babies and love on them more.
I am so thankful for that. Those
baby years went quickly and I feel as though I got as much as I could have out
of them because of Beth. I don’t miss
them because I utilized them.
As the girls grew, real
parenting needed to begin. I didn’t know
anything about parenting and disciplining, except that I didn’t know anything
about it. All of the methods we tried
didn’t sit right with me. Sending my
child to time out to be alone seemed cruel when all they wanted was to be
comforted.
parenting needed to begin. I didn’t know
anything about parenting and disciplining, except that I didn’t know anything
about it. All of the methods we tried
didn’t sit right with me. Sending my
child to time out to be alone seemed cruel when all they wanted was to be
comforted.
And then I found Shel. Shel was amazing. She was patient, kind, and intentional. I loved that most about her. She has 4 boys of her own who keep her busy. I met her at a parenting workshop through my
Mom’s group.
Mom’s group.
She taught me how important
it was to actually teach the girls what to do, instead of just expecting them
to know it. Every moment was a teachable
moment and every destruction by the girls was a love letter from them.
it was to actually teach the girls what to do, instead of just expecting them
to know it. Every moment was a teachable
moment and every destruction by the girls was a love letter from them.
Shel is where I fell in lovewith being a parent and where I think our kids fell in love with me as their
mother.
mother.
I think having a mentor is
essential for any parent. I have three
people that I know I could call at a moment’s notice to get advice or help.
essential for any parent. I have three
people that I know I could call at a moment’s notice to get advice or help.
These three women have made
such a difference in my life and I don’t even know if they know it. This is my love letter to them.
such a difference in my life and I don’t even know if they know it. This is my love letter to them.
Do you have a mentor in
your life? Someone who helps you
navigate the waters of parenthood and makes you think about how you parent? Someone you can call any time,
day or night (thanks for that, Melissa!)?
your life? Someone who helps you
navigate the waters of parenthood and makes you think about how you parent? Someone you can call any time,
day or night (thanks for that, Melissa!)?
xoxo
–k
