Thriving Parents

shifting Parenthood from barely surviving to thriving

I hope they’ll remember…

When our first child was born in 2007, I was armed with a camera.  Not an iPhone, a camera phone, or even a a digital camera.  It was a plain old camera with film.  By the time she was 8 months old, I convinced my husband to let me buy a digital camera from QVC.  Over the years I took thousands upon thousands of photos of the kids.
Of what they ate and what they did.
Of where we went and what they wore.

I was so worried about catching the right shot and getting the moment on film.  In fact, I was so concerned with getting “the shot” that I wasn’t really present for the shot.

I realized last week that although I love taking photos, I hadn’t even touched my DSLR while we were on vacation in Hilton Head, SC.  I took a few photos with my iPhone but the DSLR never moved from the spot where I unpacked it.

I often wonder if they’ll miss looking at these vacation photos when they’re older.  If they’ll remember the memories that I am failing to capture.  But then I realize, the photos are just a way to capture a feeling.  It’s the feelings I want them to remember.

I want them to remember the warmth of being snuggled up in a towel on my lap after they got out of the pool.
I hope they remember how full their bellies were when we ate ice cream every single day of vacation.
I want them to remember the salty taste of the tears they shed that were a result of staying out way too late because we were having fun.

I hope they remember the pride I felt when they learned to roll with the waves “like a big kid”.

I want them to remember asking questions about the sea turtle eggs that were roped off on the sand.

I hope they remember the sweat we had pouring off of us after we took our first family bike ride through the trails.

I want them to remember my frustration because they were having so much fun with each other that they got too silly.

I hope they remember the strength I had as I pretended I wasn’t scared of the jelly fish warning (even though I was stung last year!).

I want them to remember the sound of the Harbor Town trolley bell as it pulled into a stop.

I hope they remember the concentration I showed when we were building a sandcastle on the beach.

I want them to remember how much their bellies hurt from the laughter when Rebecca made the joke about diarrhea while we were out at breakfast.

I hope they remember how we argued over how to fairly share ice cream.

I want them to remember how nervous we all were to feed carrots to the horses in the stables.

I didn’t capture all of these moments on camera.  I didn’t organize a family photo on the beach, with coordinating outfits like I have in the past…

Instead I was present.

I played.

I was there.

And somehow, I think they’ll know.

xoxo
–k

Kristina Grum is a Certified Parent Educator who has over a decade of experience working with children, including being a classroom teacher. She currently teaches parenting classes in her local area and writes about shifting parenthood from barely surviving to thriving.

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Comments

  1. Julia Hunter says

    I love this. I get so angry at myself when I forget to take pictures of something then I have to remember that they will remember me being present.

  2. Alison says

    I wrote a post about being conflicted about capturing the moments on camera, and actually just being in the moment, and remember that time, but it'd be likely one of those moments that get mishmashed up with others, and I'll forget them all. Your perspective is great – hoping that YOUR kids will hold those precious memories in their hearts.