Matt’s been working hard to
restore our nephew’s bike for Caroline.
He took it apart to paint it and now that he’s in the process of putting
it back together we realized she needs a few things for it: a horn and a seat cover. So on Sunday afternoon we went to a bike shop
to look for both.
restore our nephew’s bike for Caroline.
He took it apart to paint it and now that he’s in the process of putting
it back together we realized she needs a few things for it: a horn and a seat cover. So on Sunday afternoon we went to a bike shop
to look for both.
When we entered the store I
encouraged Caroline to go up to an employee and ask where we could find a
horn.
encouraged Caroline to go up to an employee and ask where we could find a
horn.
The man looked at me as we
approached and said, “What can I help you find?” I looked down at Caroline and encouraged her
to ask what she was looking for. She
quietly said, “I’d like to find a horn.”
approached and said, “What can I help you find?” I looked down at Caroline and encouraged her
to ask what she was looking for. She
quietly said, “I’d like to find a horn.”
This was extremely hard for
her. While Caroline is a big talker at
home, if you put her around any strangers she’s quite quiet. Silent, actually. She’s very much of an introvert.
her. While Caroline is a big talker at
home, if you put her around any strangers she’s quite quiet. Silent, actually. She’s very much of an introvert.
The man looked at me and said, “They’re back here. We don’t have horns – we only have bells.”
I said, “Don’t tell me. Tell her.
She needs it. I don’t.”
She needs it. I don’t.”
He looked at me like I was
crazy and didn’t say a word to Caroline as we walked to the back of the store.
When we got back to the section, he looked at me and said, “Here they are.
What kind do you think she’s going to want?”
crazy and didn’t say a word to Caroline as we walked to the back of the store.
When we got back to the section, he looked at me and said, “Here they are.
What kind do you think she’s going to want?”
Seriously, dude? If you had listened to
me once you would know that I am not going to answer that for you.
me once you would know that I am not going to answer that for you.
I can never understand why
people don’t treat little kids like they are people. I am totally giving this guy the benefit of
the doubt that he treats all kids like this and not just girls.
people don’t treat little kids like they are people. I am totally giving this guy the benefit of
the doubt that he treats all kids like this and not just girls.
It was a discouraging
situation for Caroline who finally got the courage to not only talk to a
stranger but to also ask one for something she needs. He couldn’t even acknowledge her existence. She didn’t seem to mind, after all she’s an introvert. It was an uncomfortable situation for her and she relished in the fact that she was able to stay quiet longer.This doesn’t mean that I’ll give up encouraging Caroline to speak up. I’m not doing it to try to change her but am trying to teach her that she is responsible for her own happiness. I want her to feel comfortable in asking for what she wants, needs, and deserves. The reality is, it may never feel comfortable to her.
situation for Caroline who finally got the courage to not only talk to a
stranger but to also ask one for something she needs. He couldn’t even acknowledge her existence. She didn’t seem to mind, after all she’s an introvert. It was an uncomfortable situation for her and she relished in the fact that she was able to stay quiet longer.This doesn’t mean that I’ll give up encouraging Caroline to speak up. I’m not doing it to try to change her but am trying to teach her that she is responsible for her own happiness. I want her to feel comfortable in asking for what she wants, needs, and deserves. The reality is, it may never feel comfortable to her.
Here are some things you can do to encourage introverted kids to talk:
- Practice/ role play with them. Have them say it to you one or a few times. By the time they say it to who they need to talk to, it’ll be words they have practiced and it won’t be so scary.
- Give them some options of what to say and then let them choose what’s most comfortable to them.
- Support them by staying close when they speak. Sometimes just knowing you are near helps them to be braver.
Needless to say we didn’t buy
a horn from this bike shop. We won’t be buying
anything from them. If a store can’t treat
children like customers then you don’t want our business. And you are missing out on three great
customers.
a horn from this bike shop. We won’t be buying
anything from them. If a store can’t treat
children like customers then you don’t want our business. And you are missing out on three great
customers.
xoxo
–k
Wow! I am so sorry you both had to experience that! Did you say something? It sounds like you gave some pretty clear cues, more than once. I would have nicely confronted him directly. I have done that once before and it went well and the woman quickly changed her tune and Ryan still had a good experience. We had been given a coupon for a free milk at McDs and Ryan was SO excited to use it. He is also an introvert. I encouraged him to walk up to the counter and the (older) woman just took it without a word, and didn't look at him even though he talked to her, and they weren't busy. It was so sad since he was really happy to trade that little piece of paper for a milk 🙂 We deal with this very often in restaurants too. Waitresses don't seem to have time to talk to a child. God forbid they take an extra second to say something.
I won't go to that bike shop either after hearing this. We had browsed there once before after going next door, and the people didn't really seem happy to have kids in the place. Very odd since kids generate a lot of their business, I'd imagine.
Amy, I didn't say anything else. He didn't seem interested and Caroline wasn't bothered by it. We've had HUGE successes in restaurants and the girls always order for themselves – even Rebecca!