Thriving Parents

shifting Parenthood from barely surviving to thriving

Are you a climber?

We took the girls to a new park the other day.  They were so excited to go on new slides and climbing structures.  It took a while until they found this structure that looked like something on the playground at my old elementary school.  It was made to look like a snail and looked pretty complicated (and a little dangerous) to climb for our almost-5 and just-turned-6 year old.

Caroline (the almost 5 year old) had no hesitation and climbed right to the top.  I don’t even know if she thought about where she was going to place her feet and hands with each rise on the structure.  
Seeing this, Kate (our 6 year old) wanted to get to the top too.  You can see by the expression on her face (above) that she looks nervous.  She thought about it and walked around the structure for a while.  She vacillated between nervous and excited and finally began to climb.  
This was as far as she was willing to go up.  She didn’t feel comfortable going any further even though Caroline continued to climb all over the top.
I could tell that Kate was a little disappointed that she didn’t go to the top.  I was proud of her for knowing her own limits and not doing something she was uncomfortable with just because someone else was doing it.
The girls moved on to another structure.  This was plastic and circular and there wasn’t much to it.  The footholds were very tiny and there wasn’t a lot to grab on to with your hands, either.  The girls both had a mission:  to stand on the very top.  Not just close to the top, but to stand on the tallest rung.
Immediately, Caroline climbed to the top.  You can see Kate in the background working her way up.  She struggled and panicked at moments.  Caroline offered to “help” but Kate wasn’t ready to stop doing her own thinking about how to solve the problem.  
After a few attempts at climbing up and then back down, Kate asked Caroline where she should place her hands next.  Once Kate could visually see where her next step was, she was able to focus on getting to the top.  It was almost like that next step was an obstacle in her way to success. 

While I was watching the girls climb, I was thinking about how they both had different strategies for climbing to the top and how this relates to their approach on life.

Some people are climbers (like Caroline).  They start going after things right away without much of a plan.  They aren’t afraid of falling or failing.  It’s almost like that possibility doesn’t occur to them.

Then there are others who are cautious (like Kate).  They are nervous about embarking on new things.  They are intentional and plan out their moves.  They like to take their time.

When Kate finally made it to the top she was so ridiculously proud of herself.  More so than Caroline was, I think.  Perhaps that was because Caroline never stopped to think about the possibility that she wouldn’t get up.  She just climbed.  Meanwhile, Kate doubted herself for a while.  She got down and actually walked away from the structure for a few minutes before going back and attempting it again.

Those traits pretty much explain how the girls live their lives (so far) and go about every day things.  Caroline’s a risk taker and doesn’t show a lot of fear.  Kate is meticulous and feels she must be good at something before she even tries.

In the end both girls made it to the top, regardless of the method they used to get there.  They were both equally determined, although from a distance it may not have appeared that way because it was easier for one than it was for the other.

I think I am more like Kate.  I am cautious.  I over-think and over-plan.  I like walking away from something for a while so I can analyze it before heading back to tackle it again.  I wish I had more of Caroline in me, but I live with the fear of failure.

What type of person are you?  Are you a climber or are you cautious?

xoxo
–k

Kristina Grum is a Certified Parent Educator who has over a decade of experience working with children, including being a classroom teacher. She currently teaches parenting classes in her local area and writes about shifting parenthood from barely surviving to thriving.