When I was a kid I remember being at my cousins’ house and watching wrestling. It wasn’t something we did at my own house so it was considered extra fun. This was also during the 80s – the days of old school wrestlers like Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, the Junkyard Dog, and countless others.
My favorite was watching tag team wrestling. I loved that two people could depend on each other. One would let the other know when they needed a break and the other would go in and pick up where their partner left off.
Parenting as a couple is a lot like tag team wrestling. Yet different. I always want my husband to come in when I need a break. And to know where I left off. However, sometimes I need him to come in and do something completely different. Normally, I tag out when I’m frustrated and exhausted. I can feel my anxiety heightening and need to walk away from the situation. In those moments I want him to step in and be a gentle and empathetic ear rather than reinforce the boundaries. A different approach, by a different person, often does wonders to change the dynamic in a situation. It’s another extension of doing the unexpected.
This doesn’t mean that the child necessarily gets what they want. This means that the child has the opportunity to properly be heard by ears that are listening instead of closed and locked in a power struggle.
Do you know when it’s time to “tag out”? Is that an easy or hard decision for you? Do you have someone that you can “tag out” to?
xoxo
–k
