5 things I do every day to connect with my kids

in the midst of busy days, I work really hard to make sure each of our three children gets enough one-on-one time with me and my husband. I found that as we had more kids, connecting with them individually become much harder. I’m also realizing as they get older, it’s harder to make time for connection, too.

Here are 5 things I do every day to connect with my kids one-on-one.

1. I hug them first thing in the morning.

All of our kids wake up in a different way: one hops out of bed and is ready to face the day eagerly, one wakes slowly, and the other needs quite a bit of time before she’s ready to speak. I make sure I’m considerate of their needs and then make sure to give them a hug.

Why this works:
Hugging for 6 seconds or longer has been proven to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding. I like knowing the kids are heading off to school with a hug and a head start in the “good mood” department.

2. I tuck them into bed every night.

At the end of the day, I can be exhausted. It’d be much easier if I let my husband take the kids and put them to bed and I curled up on the couch with a book. Instead, I go into each child’s room and spend a few minutes talking to them and then tuck them in and kiss them goodnight.

Why this works:
Tucking the kids into bed means I am making sure I have a few moments to connect with them before they fall asleep. It’s also the time of day where they are willing to tell me anything because it’s dark and they are relaxed. It might be my favorite time of the day with them.

3. I look them in the eye when we’re talking to each other.

It’s easy to get distracted when we’re having conversations throughout the day. Although I don’t make eye contact with them EVERY time we talk (sometimes I’m making dinner, cleaning up, or getting my shoes on), I make it a point to look them in the eye when they’re telling me a story.

Why this works:
Making eye contact with our kids lets them know they are important. I want them to know I will always listen to them when they have something to tell me. This is especially important as they get older.

4. I give them 5 minutes of undivided attention.

Some days drag on and others fly by. Regardless, if I’m not intentional about it, the entire day can go by without me spending 5 minutes alone with one of the kids. I make sure to put my phone down, get down to their level, and make eye contact with them. I try to talk less and listen more.

Why this works:
5 minutes doesn’t seem like a lot of time but it is. Making your child feel like they are the only person in the world is the goal – at least for those 5 minutes.

5. I tell them they are important to our family.

I make sure to tell each child they are important to our family and let them know our family wouldn’t be the same without them. Sometimes they accept these words willingly and sometimes they explore what they think life would be like without them. The smile our kids get on their face when I tell them this is priceless. I tend to tell them this when they’re most receptive to hearing it – at bedtime. I swear they go to bed with a smile on their face.

Why this works:
Our kids need to know they are important. They need to know they matter and make a difference in our family. Plus, it’s true!

Connecting with our kids individually is hard. Finding the time to make them feel important every day is even harder. What are some ways you let your child know they are important?

xoxo
–k

Click to read how connecting with your kid individually is important.