Postpartum Progress is 10 years old

On the day before our 7th wedding anniversary I took an 8 month old Kate to visit some friend of Matt’s in Philadelphia.  He was working and couldn’t make the trip.  While we were there, the wife of his best friend was very open in talking about how she had suffered from postpartum anxiety.  I had never heard of such a thing.  I was shocked by her openness and her willingness to discuss such a difficult period in her life.  

On our ride home as Kate slept, my mind was whirling.  I couldn’t stop thinking of our conversation and the word anxiety just kept sticking with me.  

I remember calling Matt and asking him if he knew that she had suffered.  

He did not.  

I asked him if he thought I might have postpartum anxiety.  

He did.  

As we talked about it, it made perfect sense.  I was afraid to leave our baby for any amount of time, along with a whole slew of other issues.

In the next few days, I began an email conversation with my friend and I recently found this excerpt in one of our emails: 

“In case you haven’t found it already, Postpartum Progress is a GREAT blog for women like you and me.”

I hadn’t found the blog but maybe that’s because I was looking for medical websites.  The minute I first landed on Katherine Stone’s website, I felt relief.  The post she had up that day was geared to: should moms take medication while they were pregnant.  

I was already 2 months pregnant with Caroline and was scared to death.  Scared of taking medication and scared of NOT taking it.

It didn’t take long before I’d read Katherine’s entire blog.  In a way, it was like a medication of it’s own.  I was diagnosed with a slew of postpartum mood disorders and started to feel better knowing I was not alone. Others had survived what I was going through.

Recently I was talking to Matt (on our way home from Climb Out of the Darkness) and I was trying to describe what postpartum mood disorders feel like.  It’s so hard to explain to someone who has no experience.  This was the best I could do: 

Postpartum mood disorders feel like you are swimming in the ocean.  

You can feel the powerful water all around you.  One minute you are floating peacefully and the next you watch as a big wave comes your way.  You see the wave coming but it doesn’t look as powerful at a distance.  Sometimes it disrupts your peace and at other times you feel as though you are drowning.  

The water covers your neck first.  Your raise your head a little higher to keep your chin out of the water.  You call out to others but quietly.  You’re sure you’ll be okay.  Then the water reaches your mouth.  You swallow some and feel like you may be in over your head.  You are more nervous and call out to others.  They see that your head is above water so they’re sure you’ll be fine.  

Then the water reaches your nose and ears.  It’s rushing at you in all directions and you are desperately calling and waving to anyone near by.  

All you need is a life preserver.  

Katherine Stone was that life preserver for me.  Unknowingly she reached out her hand and pulled me back onto the calm waters.  I was able to slowly steady myself and I worked my ass off to get to shore.  She extended her hand to me.  She continues to do that for others on a daily basis. 

I recently got to meet her at a blogging conference and I won’t lie and say it was the one thing I was looking forward to the most.  I may have cried.  Ok, I totally cried.

What struck me the most about her is that she is so genuine and caring.  She truly cares about every mom that suffers and wants to do whatever is in her power to help them.  She’s the most selfless person I’ve ever met.

Her blog is turning 10 years old this coming Sunday.  I can’t even begin to imagine how many women she has helped in those 10 years.  But I know one thing for sure:  She’s going to keep reaching out to every woman who needs her.  

Have you ever suffered from a postpartum mood disorder? Do you know someone who has?

xoxo

–k